Monday, August 27, 2012

Loss

Little Amelia passed away this morning.  While she was still eager to eat, and interact with her environment, I held out some hope that she would get better.  But last night, she turned a corner, and not a good one.  She didn't eat her bedtime meal.  This morning, she refused breakfast, even though I gave her some of the most tempting, smelly food ever.  And I noticed that her eyes were cloudy.  They'd never been cloudy before.

It turns out that she had severe intussusception.  Jeff stayed with her through her final moments, and held her as she went to sleep for the last time, then came home and buried her in the yard with Romeo and Guido. 

I started bracing myself for this on Saturday.  Yes, I still had hope, but I also had a feeling in my gut that things weren't going to turn out well. Not this time.  She was just so frail, and got that way so quickly.  Her eyes, while bright and curious, were sunken and crusted.  I just wanted to cry every time I saw her.  

So I started carrying her around with me.  It might sound silly, but I wanted her to see things before she died.  To experience as much wonder in her short time as was possible.  So I carried her on my chest as I went about my business.  I let her play my new video game with me.  She sat on my lap while I checked my internet sites.  We went outside and sat on the front lawn, in the sun and the breeze.  I wanted this to be a gift to her.  And I like to humor myself into thinking that she saw it as a gift, as she tilted her tiny face sunward and let the breeze ruffle through her fur.  She closed her eyes, and started a gentle purr.  THIS, this is the image that I will always have of my little Amelia Earhart.

I did not get a picture of that image, because I was too busy wiping away my tears, so the one below will have to suffice.


At the end of the day, she crawled up my chest, and curled herself into a little ball under my chin, purring and kneading my skin with her tiny paws.  And I watched television, gently stroking her fur and willing her to magically get better.

There isn't really much to say about it beyond that.  Sometimes, even when all of the people involved do all of the right things, and there's love, and light, and care... sometimes all of that is not enough.  Lives are lost.  Hearts are broken.

And the rest of us carry on, because that is what the living do.  


12 comments:

  1. We're so sorry that little Amelia had to go to the Bridge. Please know that you are in our thoughts, and that we send you hugs and gentle purrs and prayers.

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  2. I am so very sorry for your loss. Run free, beautiful Amelia ...

    Your pal, Pip

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  3. {{hugs}}
    You are blessed by what you do.
    xx Trish

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  4. So sorry to hear this. But bless you for doing what you do!!!
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  5. I'm very sorry for your loss! Amelia may not have had quantity, but she definitely had quality. I'm glad she spent her time with you!

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  6. Oh no. I am sooo very sorry. I was hopin' she could pull thru. I am keep you and your family in my thoughts, and hope the good memories are with you always. She is playin' and rompin' over the bridge, so she is free and happy, and always grateful for your kindness.

    Kisses,

    Ruby

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  7. So sorry. But you make her enjoy her short life as much as possible. I'm sure she knew that.

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  8. We are so very very sorry that Amelia ran for the Bridge. We know how much you loved her and know that being safe and loved was a wonderful thing for her. Some people say the hardest part of fostering is letting them go to new homes. We say the hardest part is knowing that some of them won't find forever homes.....but we fight the good fight and do what we can. purrs.....

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  9. This is the sadness we have to endure when we take these little beauties to our hearts. So sorry for the loss of Amelia xx

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  10. I haven't been keeping up on my blogging or blog visiting lately, so I didn't even know about Amelia - but am sitting here wiping away tears nonetheless. THANK YOU for taking her in, and thank you for loving her so much and trying to let her experience as much of life as possible during the short time she had on this earth. Sending hugs.

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