You know, I've often thought that it's a really good thing that I love my animals. They certainly are allowed to get away with things that I would never put up with from a human! Let us count the ways:
1. A human being who puts his or her snout in my crotch is in serious, serious trouble, but it's just a regular day when one of the dogs does it.
2. No human being had better have any potty accidents on my dining room floor. No, not even occasionally.
3. If a human being literally danced circles around me while I prepared his/her dinner, I would be seriously considering calling the cops.
4. I wouldn't even be discussing "kitty training" to prevent a human from chasing my cats.
5. And speaking of cats... no human is allowed to pin down my arm and drape their body across it as an impromptu body pillow.
6. No human is allowed to climb onto my back and nap there.
7. I am NOT scooping a human's poop, so don't even ask.
8. I am NOT getting up at 5:30 AM to let a human out for potty breaks.
9. A human had better NOT howl at 5:30 AM, waking me up, to insist on a potty break.
10. I would not sit there and guard a human while eating to prevent said human from stealing everyone else's food.