Tuesday, June 4, 2013

RIP, Charlotte

I am sorry to have to report that my beautiful tuxie muse has passed away.  She died tonight, at the vet's, covered in hugs and kisses from Jeff and I as she took her last breaths.

I know that I posted a cautiously optimistic post a little over a month ago.  I haven't had the heart to post since then, because she has been steadily on the decline ever since.  At that time, she was eating a few nuggets of food periodically throughout the day; a little less than normal, but enough.  As the month progressed, she ate less and less.  As  of today, she hadn't had solid food in 9 days.

The vet checked her out earlier today, and found that her kidney values had more than doubled since last week, and that the fluid around her heart and lungs had increased.  We couldn't give her more medicine without making her kidneys worse.  In short, there was nothing that could be done for her except make her comfortable.

And we couldn't even do that.  We got her home, and she lapped up a little bit of milk, but didn't finish it.  (Which is a HUGE clue that all was not well in Charlotte's life.)  She kept standing up and shifting around, like cats with an excess of fluid do.  Then when we saw her sitting there, barely able to raise her head, but trying to sleep standing up, that was it.  We made the decision.  We needed to end it TONIGHT.  Making her tough it out so that we could have "one more night" with her was selfish.

And so we opted for one last act of selflessness and took her back in.

God, that's such a hard thing to do.  Even when you know that it's the right thing.


Charlotte won my heart the day that I laid eyes upon her at the shelter; a frightened, angry young tuxie, who wanted OUT of that cage and NOW.  Even when she hooked me with her claws and drug me over to her cage.  Even when she bloodied me in the "meet and greet" room when she panicked about a barking dog.


I grieve that I will no longer have her around to steal my baskets for her own purposes.
Or that she won't be able to give me such perfect photo opportunities like this one.


Or demand a bowl of food with her demanding, queenly "Mrrowr" noise that she would make when she was bossing us around

Whatever it was that she was doing at any given time, Charlotte was a definite presence in this house.  She was the queen.  


We loved her very much.  And I don't know how I'm going to cope with that.  Oh, I will, I know that we humans are good at that in the end, but we'll both feel the after-effects of this one for a good long time.

Good night, my queen.

48 comments:

  1. i'm sorry for your loss. it is a very, very hard decision to make.

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  2. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for loving Charlotte so much and so well, and for making that difficult, but loving decision. We just had to help our Sammy to the Bridge last month, and our hearts ache for what you must be going through. Big hugs, purrs and prayers to you all.

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  3. Sending condolences from all of us at Purrchance To Dream.

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  4. We saw this reported on the Cat Blogosphere and came to give our purrs of condolence.

    Charlotte was so deeply loved, it's obvious from your post. We're leaky-eyed reading it, especially our human, who has had to make that final, merciful decision as well.

    Please know that while no words will truly comfort you, there are many who understand your grief. Give it the time and space it needs.

    Wishing you peace, and wishing Charlotte godspeed.

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  5. We are so very sorry Charlotte ran for the Bridge. Bless you for letting her go with such love. We are sending purrs and are touched by your wonderful tribute.

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  6. I am so very sorry. I know how you feel. We lost our Chica 3 months ago from the same thing and I too went back to the vet to let her go. She had CRF and her chest was full of fluids. We at least can give them this one last gift to end their suffering but our hearts are still so heavy after. Surrounding you with love and light in this loss.

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  7. I've always thought that the depth of our grief is directly related to the extent of our love. Charlotte was so well loved it is clear that you will be sad for a long time. Sending my heartfelt condolences to you both.

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  8. So very sorry for your loss. RIP sweet Charlotte. Sending hugs and healing purrs your way. Run free Charlotte.
    Angel Normie, Mika, Sasha & Grady Lewis

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  9. I am so very sorry. I know how hard the decision is to make but it is always the right one when an animal is loved. I have held many a paw as a loved pet has breathed it's last. All my best.
    Peter

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  10. I am so sorry that you had to let your Princess go.
    So glad that you rescued her from that cage.
    Sounds like she had a lovely life with you.

    Hugs to all of you,
    JC and The Purr and Fur Gang

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  11. Lots of purrs and prayers on Charlotte going to the Rainbow Bridge!! We can see she had a wonderful life with you na d will always be with you in Memory!!
    Your TX furiends,

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  12. I'm very sorry to read about your precious Charlotte. She looks to be a very special girl. Your post is a lovely tribute to her. I lost my Best Boy last year, and I know you will have a Charlotte shaped hole in your heart. I think she may be close to you still, and watching to see you are ok. )))hugs(((

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  13. So sorry. Sometimes, all you can do is give them one last kiss, and let them go. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier to do.

    ppuurrrrrrrrrrrrr

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  14. We are so sorry for your lose of Charlotte. But please believe that you did the right thing. We sure do send mighty big hugs to you. So sad to lose a good fur friend.

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  15. We saw this on the Cat Blogosphere, too. So sorry to hear about your beautiful tuxie girl. Please know that our thoughts are with you. - from all of us at Prancer Pie

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  16. We send comforting purrs to you. So sorry to hear about your losing your kitty girl, Charlotte.

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  17. I am so very sorry, but yet comforted by the love you shared. May the joy of her life outshine the grief of her loss sooner rather then later.

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  18. We are so sorry that Charlotte has crossed over. She is healthy and running free now across The Bridge with those who have gone before.

    Luf, Us

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  19. We saw this on the Cat Blogoshere and wanted to come pay our respects. Charlotte was so clearly well-loved and adored. We're so sorry that she is gone. There is a new star in the heavens - much too soon.

    Sending purrs of comfort,
    Charlemagne, Tamar and Mal

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  20. I saw this on the Cat Blogosphere and came over to give you my condolences. You made the very hard but right decision. It's never easy to let them go. My kitties send comforting purrs and I send hugs.

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  21. We are so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl. We send gentle purrs and headbumps and warm light energy.

    Run free at the Bridge, lovely Charlotte ... you will be well met.

    'Kaika and his human

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  22. We are so sorry that you lost your beautiful girl Charlotte, she looks like she was an amazing character and had a wonderful life with you.

    We send you love and rumbly purrs at this sad time,

    Gerry, Mungo & The Ape

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  23. We are so very sorry for your loss. Charlotte sounds like a wonderful cat and your love for her is very apparent from the lovely post you did for her. Purrs of sympathy and comfort

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  24. We just saw this on the Cat Blogosphere and although we didn't know Charlotte we do grieve with you as we know how it feels when the kindest act is the most painful to you. It seems she had quite a big personality and we know she will be watching over you from Rainbow Bridge. We will purr and send whiskery kisses to you over the internet to try and ease your pain a little.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  25. Our purrs and prayers are with you at this very sad time. We are so sorry you have lost your beautiful lady ...

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  26. The hardest thing is knowing the "right" time. You knew... All our thoughts are with you.

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  27. Rest with the angels, sweetheart, you have earned your wings.

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  28. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of sweet Charlotte. I know she left you with many wonderful memories that you'll keep safely tucked away in your heart. Rest in peace, pretty girl!

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  29. We are heartbroken for you for the loss of Charlotte. You gave a her a wonderful life and she will remain in your hearts for ever. Hugs and purrs from Austin and Caro xx

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  30. We are all so very sorry to hear about your dear Charlotte. We send you many purrs and hugs along with lots of love. Run free dear Charlotte, run free.

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  31. Sending you our most comforting purrs. Charlotte had a wonderful life with you.

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  32. So sad, and I am so sorry for your loss. Charlotte was a beautiful and loved ladycat.

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  33. We are so sad for you. Charlotte obviously touched your hearts deeply and permenantly. There is no greater sacrfice a pet family can make then to provide peace for their kit at the heart-wrenching expense of losing her. Even when it is the right thing to do.

    But what a wonder her life has been. From a cage, to your family. From lonliness and fear, to great mutial respect and love. I'm sure her love shines down on you now with gratitude for all you have done, and anticipation of the time when you will be together again.

    We purr for your comfort.

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  34. I am so very sorry about your precious Charlotte. Please know you are in my thoughts and purrayers during this very sad time.
    (((hugs)))
    Maggie May

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  35. we wanted to stop by and offer our condolences on your loss of Charlotte. She is a beautiful girl. hope you know if Charlotte could speak, she would say, thanx mom & dad...for everything...and I love you both too. God's speed to you Charlotte

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  36. We are so so sorry to read about sweet angel Charlotte. We send you all many hugs and purrs. Such a precious little sweetheart. Take care
    x

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  37. So sorry to read about your sweetie Charlotte. You did the right thing, she was telling you that she was ready and you listened, so don't feel bad.

    Hugs
    Julie and Poppy Q
    xxx

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  38. This is so sad! We know how it feels to say goodbye to a beloved furrend. xxoo Patty

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  39. I was sorry to read about the loss of your beautiful girl. I hope the memories that you have of her younger & healthier days will sustain you through this sad time. Tina

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  40. Oh gosh, I am so sorry for your loss of beautiful Charlotte. It is indeed the hardest thing to do, ever, but it was the right thing to do.

    You have such a wonderful way of expressing your connection to her; I felt every bit of it. My thoughts are with you.

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  41. I am so sorry for your loss and know your heart is breaking and you have that awful hollow and painful feeling. Remember all your good times even though they also will make you cry, but you will get comfort from them. Take comfort also in knowing that you helped her make her journey to the Bridge knowing she was loved.

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  42. We are so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Charlotte. We are sending prayers & love.

    Hugs,
    Oskar & Pam

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  43. So sorry for the loss of your sweet Charlotte. Rest in peace babygirl...you've earned your wings....

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  44. I have tears in my eyes. I am so so so so sad. May your days, weeks, months of grief be gentle on you.

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  45. Was so sorry to read of your loss, but know that you will treasure your memories of Charlotte. I've had this type of conversation with friends over the years...we lost one of our dear cats, Oz, last year. I know some people who won't get another pet after losing one because of the pain. I understand that. The pain can feel unbearable. But my pets (family members!) have given me so much love, so much joy, taught me so much, that I wouldn't trade any of it! It's still sad that we don't have Oz in our lives, but after that we were able to take in Xander...a sick, homeless kitten who wasn't expected to make it, was blind in one eye, and who now, at one year of age, weighs 13 pounds, terrorizes his feline sister (who he now outweighs), worships his canine 'mommydoggy' greyhound, and rests easy in the knowledge that he is at the center of the known universe :D

    Keep up the good work with the fosters and allow your other furbabies to love on you extra!

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  46. We lost our Chica 3 months ago from the same thing and I too went back to the vet to let her goChallenge coins

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  47. I am SO sorry that I missed this post! You have our sincere and heartfelt condolences on Charlotte's passing!

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